4 After School Routine Essentials (That Will Save Your Sanity!)
I'll let you in on a little secret - Even as a child psychologist, I'm not immune to the after-school struggle. My highly sensitive child often comes home exhausted, hungry, and a bit of an emotional "mess."
If you can relate, then this newsletter is for you! Here are my 4 after-school routine essentials that help us add connection and reduce stress after school.
1. Feed them ASAP
Emphasis on the "ASAP" - Have a snack ready to go in the car or at least first thing they do when they get home, lol.
Don't wait for the "I'm hungry" whine to start. Just have it ready. If they don't want it, cool. But at least it will be waiting for them.
I try to opt for nutrious snacks so I don't have to worry about them "ruining their dinner."
Food is their love language after school. It's like magic – a handful of whole-grain crackers, a cheese stick, or some apple slices (or all 3!) can turn that post-school grump into a happy camper. 🏕
2. Avoid the dreaded "How was your day?"
I know, I know. We're dying to know every detail, but remember: Less is more here.
Follow their lead - if they want to talk about school, great. If not, great.
If you feel tempted to ask questions, try to opt for specific questions that are easy to answer, like:
• "Who did you play with at lunch today?"
• "What was the most fun thing you learned?"
• "What was your favorite and least favorite part of the day?"
If that still doesn't work, then it's often about our timing. They're not ready to talk so try again at dinner time or bedtime.
3. Embrace the power of downtime
Your child's been 'on' all day. Most kids need around 20-30 minutes to decompress (aka relax) after school.
Ideally, this means no homework, no chores, no bath time (unless they WANT to do these things).
Here are some decompressing activities you can offer to them:
- Turn on their favorite music & have a dance party.
- Go outside - Play in the water, ride bikes, draw with chalk, blow bubbles, etc.
- Turn on relaxing music (I love jazz) and do an art/sensory activity together (e.g., coloring, kinetic sand, painting, sticker-by-number).
- For the little ones who take baths, invite them to have a “bath play party” and use this time to play 1:1 with them. It's a win-win - it's one less thing you have to do in your bedtime routine and you've taken time to connect & help them relax.
- Simply say: “It’s time for our special play time. You can decide how you want to spend our time together.” And spend 10-20 minutes playing together.
What about screens? I don’t recommend them right when kids get home from school. It's overstimulating and just not the best coping skill.
Sure, now & then is cool but ideally, we want our children to gravitate towards other activities when it’s time to relax.
No judgement, though. Do what works for you and your family.
4. Let them unload their "emotional backpack"
Here's the thing: Our kids stuff down a lot of feelings during the school day.
- Frustration from learning new things
- Nervousness about peer interactions
- Embarrassment from not knowing an answer
– it all goes into their emotional backpack.
Home is their safe space to let it all out. And yes, sometimes that means tears or tantrums. But remember, this release is healthy!
Remember, all day long, our little ones are working hard to keep it together, to learn, to be perceived well by teachers and peers. They're delaying gratification and natural impulses. It's tough work for those developing brains and bodies!
So, the next time your 2-7 year old seems to fall apart after school, take a deep breath. You're not alone in this, and it's actually a sign that they feel safe with you.
You're doing a great job! I promise.
In this with you,
Dr. Jazmine
P.S. I'd love to hear how these tips work for you. Hit 'reply' to this email and let me know which one resonates most with your family's after-school routine.
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- Reading 📖: My 2nd grader is currently LOVING the Junie B Jones series. Sparks good convo on choices, lol.
- Eating 🥣: Snickerdoodle cookies from Trader Joes
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- Obsessing 🤠: Inside Out 2 (finally came out on streaming 👏)
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